The Forest (The Battle of the Trees)
A Weird Dream
In an institution like place. In the future. We are all prisoners of a sort yet have done nothing wrong. Free movement around the complex but it is so big three seems no way out. Suppressed information. Tailored lessons. A few smuggled things in, things that are forbidden like candy. There is a story about a man locked in the tower who can end all this with his knowledge. We need the key. There are plans to try to get to him.
In The Beginning
I have been everything and I have been nothing. What that means is I have tried it all, left, right, gay, bi, straight, strong, weak, open, closed, peaceful, violent, social, hermit and so on. The only thing that has not changed in nearly thirty five years, though the paths may have, I am Pagan. This abridged story of my life is meant to show the readers of this blog why I feel I am qualified to speak about the things I do.
In the beginning there was an egg, a feisty little egg ready to get crackin’ but some seriously misaligned stars would see to it that this little egg would not crack on like it should. The year was 1972 and this Pagan was born and baptized Roman Catholic to 2 people who should never have met let alone slept together. One was secretly gay and the other was weak and docile and when the gay one left the other could only hope to find another to fill that “helpless” void. Quite a few men later one was found, a domineering type that somehow must have made her feel “safe” because they were quickly married and having other children. This pagan, me, was 7 years old and quickly set aside (no, this is not one of those “you are just a jealous child” moments, I became the punching bag for this new mans real lack of self esteem while she just sat in the corner and watched). Going to church every week, (first it was Protestant then Baptist then Evangelical then Presbyterian then Pentecostal and so on) and sending me to bible school was clearly their way of atonement for the “sins” they were performing every day. This went on for 5 years before I was literally tossed aside and sent to a home for “uncontrollable” children.
It was here, in 1982 that I found something that made sense to me right away. Something that would change my life forever, not necessarily for the better right away but none the less change. The Modern Witches Spell Book opened my eyes to something different, something that was so rebellious to my biologicals that I just had to embrace it. In secret, in the dark of my room I would cast, conjure and wish for anything that would help me make sense of the shitty cards I was dealt. This of course led to picking up The Satanic Bible and for a while I was full on dark and very introverted.
Fast forward a few years and I grabbed myself the best book for anyone who is new to the craft, in the craft, interested in the craft etc. Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft (The Blue Book) and for the next 20 odd years I spent my time reading, learning and practicing anything from Gardner, Crowley, Buckland, Cunningham, etc.
During this time, and even now, I dealt with monsters inside of me that only a few could ever understand. Hurt, hatred, lack of understanding, denial, self deprecation and the list goes on and on. I embraced everything that was not mainstream and everything that was. I was an outcast yet let into every click. My mind was everywhere and to suppress my inner demons to make it in society I turned to drugs, lots of them. I would make friends then alienate them so I would not be hurt. I would take jobs just long enough to pay a months rent and get high. I hurt many along the way and have lost even more. I did the hippy thing, did the activist thing, called myself republican and democrat, been extreme on either end, been a supporter of big government as well as smaller government. I have worked for major corporations and family owned businesses as well as having my own small business. I have run in circles with the very rich and have been the very poor. All of this has given me nothing except sight, the sight to see below the surface of everything we look at, a true view of reality. A vision that brought me to where I am now, an eclectic everything. In religion, politics and life there is no right or wrong, only opinion and yours will definitely be different than mine.
That is what this blog is all about, opinions. We all see things differently and have different ideas but most of us do want the same things in the end, just open your mind and see. This is not a blog to change minds, this is a blog to hopefully let some get a glimpse of what it is like to be on either side of anything. If you simply use common sense then you may also see the truth. This is not a daily blog, weekly blog or a monthly blog, things will just appear when I have something to write about. If you chose to take something positive away from my rants then great, if not then that is great too we are individuals only connected by an invisible and greatly ignored consciousness that will one day make mince meat of us all.
